I don’t like it when people mock things you would talk about with a counslor. You can talk about how you don’t want to be one because you would get tired of it, but you don’t need to give examples…Like “I want to kill myself because…” I know nothing is meant by it, but its not a joking matter when you have been to that low a point in your life. It made me feel like I’m stupid because, for a period of time, I did see a counslor, and we would talk about anything from thinking someone didnt like you (mentioned in the car) to more serious stuff. I don’t know. It didnt bother me that much but i felt the need to get it off my chest anyways.
I went to a Superbowl party. That was fun. But by the end of it my mind was kind of lost. When i got home i started crying.
I can’t even describe to anyone how it feels. I just want to rip my heart out and never have to deal with it again. I feel like my life is pointless. I feel like I am going nowhere. Like I am never going to. Sometimes, I’d honostly rather be dead. Its not like I don’t think about that either. Its a reoccuring thing that i wish could just stop haunting me. What could I do? How could I do it? I don’t know. I don’t think that i could even bring myself to do it. But I think about it all the time.
I hope that something will come around in my life and turn it all around before i reach that point. =/
ps. Why is Aaron marrying a 42 year old? It really isn’t fair or right..